TWELVE!

Today is Bailey's twelfth birthday! Happy birthday, my baby! It is so hard to believe that 12 years have passed since the night my friend called and told me that the long-anticipated puppies had been born! When I first went to see the puppies, I chose one that was black with white spots and was going to call him Colby. Later, my friend told me that they had mixed up the genders on all of the puppies so the one I had chosen was actually a girl. My mom had said I could only have a boy, so I went back and chose the cutest little chocolate brown fur ball. They were calling him "Fudge" then but he was destined to be my Bailey. And what an amazing twelve years it has been!

I decided to come up with 12 of my favorite Bailey memories in honor of his 12th birthday, so here they are in no particular order. I was going to find and scan pictures to go with some of this but didn't get to it yet. Hopefully I will add them next week.

1. Bringing him home. He was the first to leave his litter and cried all the way home. I kept calling his name, trying to reassure him, and then realized that he didn't know his name yet!

2. While eating his first meal at his new home, he stood with his back legs stretched way out behind him. It looked like he was still expecting the other puppies to be crawling all around and trying to eat at the same time.

3. Snuggle time. When he was younger and still allowed on the furniture, sometimes he would sit next to me and press his face against mine and snuggle. Those were such sweet, loving moments!

4. His tennis ball trick. He will lie in the floor and play with his ball for a minute. Then he rolls over on his back, holds the ball in his raised front paws, lets the ball slide down his legs, onto his chest, and turns his head sideways and catches the ball as it rolls off his chest. It is absolutely one of the most adorable things he does and he gets so excited when he does it perfectly.

5. One night I was watching Deal or No Deal and playing the Lucky Case Game. I was trying to decide which case of the six to guess. Bailey was lying in the floor and I facetiously asked him which case I should choose. His response: Woof! It amazed me because I had not told him to speak and hadn't done anything to provoke a bark from him. So I asked him again which case I should play. His response: Woof woof! Again I asked and his response was Woof woof woof! By now I was very amused and asked him again. His response: Woof woof woof woof! When I asked him the next time, he barked 4 times again but the last time I asked him, he barked 6 times!!! He basically counted to six but left off one bark for the #5! My mom was there so we have a witness! The dog is too smart...

6. When he was on the home-cooked diet and I jokingly asked him if he wanted to change back to dry food, he stood up, looked right at me, barked three times, and left the room. He made his point! "NO DRY FOOD!" (He's back on the dry food now because we were scared a food allergy might be causing the sores on his face.)

7. When I bought him a new toy and tested the theory that dogs can use process of elimination. I had read an article and wanted to try it myself. I gave Bailey the new toy without telling him its name and allowed him to play with it until he lost interest and left it. It is a Blue's Clues plush toy so I named him Blue. Later, I lined up 5 or 6 toys, all with names he knew well except for the new one. I had him sit a few feet in front of the toys and told him, "Go get Blue!" He walked over to the toys, sniffed down the line until he got to Blue, then grabbed it and brought it back to me. Brilliant!

8. For a long time, he hated for anyone to clip their nails. If he heard someone cutting their nails, he would bark, run to them and whine and try to take the clippers away. I guess he figured if he hated to have his nails clipped, we must hate it also. He still does not like to be around if I am clipping my nails but he does not react so strongly now.

9. Bailey loves to play hide and seek! He will run all around the house looking frantically for the hider and then run away when he finds you, like he is waiting for you to hide again.

10. Once on America's Funniest Home Videos, I saw a clip of a man and his dog outside and the dog was doing the craziest thing. He would jump up, grab a tree branch in his mouth, and slide his mouth down the limb, stripping the leaves off of it. He did this over and over again and was just going wild! Well, once again, I used my dog as a guinea pig. When we were outside later, I pulled a limb down and shook it and Bailey ran across the yard to me and did exactly the same thing, jumping up and grabbing the limb and stripping the leaves off. He absolutely loved this new game! One time when we were doing this, he grabbed more than the limb and I still have a scar on my right index finger as a reminder! Needless to say, that was the end of that game.

He also loved playing in the leaves when we would rake them and make big piles.

11. A couple years ago, Bailey thought one of his new toys was named Happy Birthday! I gave him either Turtle or Lady Bug that year, and I told him "Happy Birthday!" over and over again throughout the day. By the end of the day, anytime I said it, he would go and get his new toy and bring it to me. That was pretty cute.

12. I guess he has always been demanding. He would jump up on the bed with a toy and play with it for a while. When he enevitably dropped it off the bed, he would bark for someone to hand it to him. What can I say? I know he's spoiled, but I also think he should be!

Tonight he will get his birthday "cake" and presents and mommy will take lots of pictures and video which I will share next week.

And by the way, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all!

Vet Report

Bailey starts on the cyclosporine tonight, and I am praying like mad that it will clear up whatever is on his face and help with his walking. We really only expect it to help his face, but I'm praying for more. The vet said today that she thought his face was still pretty painful, though at home he only seems to mind if I touch it directly on one of the spots and then he simply pulls away. She also asked if she could do some xrays of his spine to see if maybe the problem with his legs really is something in his spine that needed time to develop enough to be seen on the xrays and MRI. Of course I said she could but they did not show anything. She also drew blood to do a full panel and check his thyroid. She really feels like whatever is wrong with him has not been diagnosed yet and is probably autoimmune and that the problem in his legs is probably related to the problem with his nose. I don't know what to think anymore. I wish someone had the answers and the cure!

We both cried while talking about him and I've been a wreck all day. I just want him to be well!

An update

This is what it looks like when I leave for a weekend now. This medicine schedule was from a few weeks ago when I spent a Saturday night at my sister's house. It took me at least 30 minutes that morning to get Bailey's medicines, vitamins, and food sorted out and labeled! Thankfully, his grandmother is willing to take care of him and make sure he gets all his meds at the right time. And maybe I'm a little OCD, but I think having everything in the baggies and the schedule make it easier for her. Thanks, Mom!

I haven't updated in a while, probably because I hesitate to put it in writing that Bailey's walking is a lot worse lately. He's having a lot more trouble with his back left leg, knuckling more often than not and stumbling around, especially in the house. He walks much better outside but still has some trouble there. He has been doing well with his exercise walking though, as long as it hasn't rained. He HATES to get his paws wet! He is still in really good spirits and will play with his new toys and ask to be loved on. I borrowed my sister's camcorder and have been getting some video of him that I know I will always be glad to have.

He goes back to the vet Monday for a checkup and so we can switch him from the prednisone to cyclosporine for whatever has been happening on his face. He also desperately needs a nail trim and I'll probably ask for a complete blood panel to check his liver again. He'll have to have a bath this weekend before he goes on Monday and I am NOT looking forward to it. He absolutely hates the bathtub.

I hate this disease.

God, please heal my baby! Watching him decline is ripping my heart out!

Snuggle Bug

Bailey has been so sweet in the mornings lately. At night, he usually waits until I am in bed and will then get on the bed and curl up in the bend of my knees. At some point in the night, he has been rearranging himself so that the back of his head is under my chin and his back is against my stomach. When he wakes up, he will stretch his neck and raise his chin way up to look upside down at me and see if I am awake. I'll scratch his tummy and then stop, hoping he will give me a few more minutes of sleep. He does this over and over again, sometimes rolling to his back, pawing at the air, and vocalizing to make sure I know that he wants to be petted. He did this for about 30 minutes this morning, and it was such a sweet way to wake up . . . even if that extra hour of sleep from the time change didn't happen.

Frustration

I feel like flinging myself to the floor and throwing a nasty temper tantrum. Too bad I am not three years old anymore and tantrums are no longer expected behavior...

I almost had Bailey weaned off of the prednisone. We were down from 50mg every other day to 20mg every other day. But now those horrible bumps are reemerging on his poor little face. I talked to the vet about it yesterday and of course she wants to put him back on a high dose of the pred, this time starting at 50mg TWICE each day. That's double what he was on at the beginning of all this mess. She also said the bumps must be something autoimmune (in addition to DM? instead of DM???) but she does not know what it is.

He was doing so well. His personality was finally coming back on the lower dose of pred. He was feeling better, playing a lot, running around, loving on mommy. Now I know we're headed right back into what I call "survival mode" where every need/desire is an immediate need that needs mommy's immediate attention and can only be communicated by barking indignantly from his resting spot. He will be miserable. But without the pred, the welts on his face might get huge and painful again and he would still be miserable.

His back left leg has been really bad the last couple of days as well. I have no idea if the pred was actually helping him or if coming off the pred is revealing the muscle wasting it could have caused because he was on it so long. It was hard to watch him walking around outside this morning and losing his balance or falling every time he put weight on his left leg. He was doing so well just a couple of weeks ago. We both want off of this roller coaster!

We might have to make another trip to a specialist. I am thinking it might be good for him to see an immunologist at this point, and maybe we need a second neuro opinion as well. But just thinking about it makes me nervous, because I know how nervous and scared he will be to have new people messing with him. And what if they cannot find anything treatable either?

Abba, help me to know what to do for Bailey. And please, please, please heal my baby! Keep me strong for him. Please let there be better days ahead for him. Thank You that he is still walking (with difficulty) and still in good spirits.

Now maybe if I close my door and flail quietly, I can pull off a tantrum without anyone knowing . . . .

Six Months

Six months ago today, my world shattered. Six months ago today, I was at Auburn, being told that my dog, my baby, has degenerative myelopathy, that it would become a quality of life issue for him, and that they could not tell me how much longer we would have together. Six months ago today I was handed a piece of paper that said Bailey would become less ambulatory, that he might become unable to urinate on his own, that the medicine probably wouldn't help.

Praise God, Jehovah Rapha, that six months later, Bailey is still going strong, still walking, still wagging his tail, still barking his deep, throaty bark (and he is not hoarse), still playing, still greeting me wildly at the door when I come home, still running, still smiling, still loving life.

In the last six months, we have spent hours sitting together outside enjoying sunshine and breezes, walked miles and miles side by side, managed to lose weight (almost 20 pounds for mommy!), learned to cope with less sleep and more activity, discovered that Bailey really does know how to swim, and our bond has grown even stronger through it all.

And in it all, I am learning not to take anything for granted.

Abba, You don't promise us tomorrow, and thank You, that through all the pain, You are teaching me to savor life and to love hard even when it hurts. Thank You that the pain is never all for naught. Thank You that Bailey is still relatively healthy, that he is still enjoying life, and that he is still with me. Give us six more months together, and six more after that, and more and more after that, please, Abba.

Praise You in This Storm
by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms, performed by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You and raised me up again
My strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the maker of heaven and earth

And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

Vacillating Between Independence and Neediness

Bailey is too smart for his own good. And mine at times! Last night, I took him out to the yard to walk around 9:00. He went into the yard, pottied, and was ready to go back inside. His mommy had other plans. I put his leash back on him and tugged him to the left to start our walk. The first lap he walked right beside me. He started the second lap very reluctantly and, after only 20 feet or so, stopped and refused to go any farther, regardless of my tugging. I took his leash off and started walking without him. He only let me get a few steps ahead of him before he ran to catch up with me and walked the next few laps right next to me, just as he would if he were still on the leash. Silly boy.

He has been doing that lately, refusing to walk on the leash after a couple of laps, preferring to walk on his own, but right beside me. Usually, as we finish a lap and turn the corner of the L-shaped fence and head toward the gate, he goes to the gate to see if I will let him go inside. When I keep walking, he runs to catch up with me and walk the next lap. Last night, though, rather than walking to the gate, he stopped at the corner (about 30 feet from the gate), watched me walk about half a lap, and then as soon as I got to the storage building, ran at full speed across the yard and fell into step beside me as we headed up the hill in the far corner. He did this for 6 or 7 laps, and it was so cute! Of course he had to listen to taunts of, "Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater!" but at least he caught up in time to go up the hill with me because it is quite steep and really works the muscles in his legs... and mine! And besides, he is a cheater, and he does love to eat some pumpkin!

He walked for about 35 minutes last night, so if you subtract the time he was watching from the fence corner as mommy walked, he probably got in 20 - 25 minutes.

The funny thing is, as much as he wants to be independent outside, he still continues to be needy and demanding while inside. His indignant bark whenever dinnertime is not coming quickly enough after meds, or when he wants attention, or when he wants cold water, or when he wants treats continues. He is the worst when I get home from work. I immediately give him his DM meds, wait 15-30 minutes and give him his bromelain and curcumin, and then wait 30 minutes before feeding him because the meds should be given on an empty stomach. Bailey does not agree. Or he at least thinks that the meds should be quickly chased by some treats. He is obsessed with his treats right now. He eats half his dinner and then yells for treats. Last night, after my telling him 15 times that he had to finish his dinner before he got any treats, he finally listened. And yes, he got 2 treats as soon as he finished eating.

I think the boy is trying to make me old before my time.

Here's a nice little link I found when trying to decide between lie vs. lay and farther vs. further!

Every Day Is Different

Bailey was doing much better last week, walking pretty well and holding his rear end up and standing tall. Over the weekend, his left leg was really weak and he had a lot of trouble walking. Thankfully, he was (and is) still in a good mood and played and spent some time outside exploring and enjoying the sunshine, even though it was incredibly hot. He seems to be doing a little better yesterday and today. He walked six laps around the yard last night and two laps this morning, sometimes going so fast that I had to jog to keep up with him.

I have ordered a second pair of booties for him, hoping that this kind will work better than the first ones I bought for him. They will be here today, just in time for him to wear them to the vet tomorrow. He goes in for a checkup and I hope the booties will keep him from sliding all over the slick floors at the clinic. He was not able to walk in the first pair because they were too heavy or too stiff (though they were absolutely adorable on him), but maybe the new ones will work for him.

He has definitely become more needy/demanding. Last night around 11:00, he decided I needed to be in the same room as him. If I left the room, he barked indignantly, just once, every few minutes until I came back. I spent a lot of time petting him and loving on him, but he was fine with me loading the dishwasher, as I long as I stayed in his sight. He also barks from wherever he is resting when he needs to go outside or thinks it's dinner time. I always tell him how regal he looks and call him my little prince. I guess it has finally gone to his head . . . :o)

(I have added some links on the right side - one to Tiger's story and another to the AKC videos on DM.)

It's Been a Rough Few Weeks

From a cancer scare to 6 pounds of muscle mass lost within a matter of days, Bailey's had a rough few weeks. Praise God the cancer scare turned out to be "insect hypersensitivity" and the welts on his face and in his ears have gone down considerably, just leaving bald spots, following 2 steroid shots and we're in the middle of a round of oral prednisone. His walking is significantly worse right now, and it was at its worse the week before last. He could barely hold his rear end off the ground and his legs flailed about when he tried to walk. He also just wasn't himself. I think the steroids had a lot to do with that and now that we've started the every other day schedule for the prednisone, he's perking back up, walking a little better and his rear end is not drooping as much. He has also been playing with his toys more over the last week, which always does my heart good.

His grandmama bought runners to put all over the house so that everywhere he normally walks is covered now. That has helped keep him from sliding around as much. I've also taken my box spring and frame out of my room and put my mattress on the floor because he has had trouble jumping on my bed. We haven't been to the park since 8/12. On Saturday 8/11, he walked 45 minutes. On Sunday, 8/12, he walks 35 minutes. Now he refuses to walk more than one lap at a time around the backyard, though sometimes he will run around and play a little. I try to get him to walk a lap most times that I take him out. I had planned to take him to the park early Sunday morning before it got hot, but he just didn't seem to be up to it.

So that's where we are for now. I'm still praying for healing and hoping that I'm doing the right things to help him. I love that little boy so much!

All Dressed Up . . . with Somewhere to Go!

The little girl has a home! Granted, this one is the second attempt to find her forever family, but I really think this one will work out. She now belongs to a couple in their late twenties who do not have any kids yet, and she is their first dog as a couple. The wife called after 10:00 Friday night and left a voicemail, wanting me to call her back that night as they were very interested in the puppy. I called her back and the first thing she asked was, "Is the puppy still available?" She sounded like a really sweet person and someone who would take really good care of the little girl. We decide to meet halfway between our towns Sunday afternoon. As soon as I got the little girl out of the car, as they were getting out of their truck, she made a mad dash to them and it was love at first sight, all around. The husband was on the ground with her rubbing her chest within minutes. When the wife called her, the little girl ran right over to her and really seemed to like her. After finding out what their schedules are like (home by 3:00 most days) and making sure that they would have her spayed and get her vaccinations, regular checkups and heartworm prevention, I asked what they thought about her and they said they would love to have her. So we loaded up her stuff and sent her off to her new home.

The only thing I can say is, if they call and say that they cannot keep her like the first lady did, this little girl is MINE! I don't know how I would work it out with Bailey, but I can only give away such an adorable dog so many times, and two is definitely my limit.

All dolled up and ready to meet her new family

A girl's gotta have some pink in her wardrobe!

Just chillin' on the way . . .

(I kept checking to make sure she was back there. Bailey would need drugs to sleep like this in the car!)

Goodbye kisses!