New Discoveries

I found out on Friday that Bailey does not have Cushing's, so that is one less thing that he could have instead of degenerative myelopathy. I cried all afternoon at work and almost dreaded coming home and seeing him, knowing the results.

Of course, as soon as I walked in the door, I remembered why all of this pain is worth it. He barked excitedly to see me and I loved on him, gave him medicine and then took him outside. While we were out there, I noticed an odd little fruit and picked it up. I did not say a word to Bailey about it, but he immediately came over and wanted to smell it. He started licking it and tried to take it out of my hand so he could bite into it. When I closed my hand around it, he used his front paw to try and turn my hand around so he could get to it. When I moved my arm up high enough that he couldn't get to it, he barked at me. He really wanted to taste that little apple or whatever it was, though of course he was not allowed to eat it.

You can see him watching it as I move it back and forth in the video below. He really wanted it!

Today, we went outside and I tried to get him in his cart, but he did not cooperate. I was trying to lift his back legs into the cart while he was twisting and trying to get to the bowl of carrots. We ended up with his right leg in the left stirrup and then he tumbled with his leg caught and I was terrified he would break it. He whined and I turned the cart on its side to get his leg out. Thankfully, his legs were fine but he was having none of the cart after that. So I got him to walk on his own for the carrots. Then I laid out our blanket and we sat and watched as the sun broke through the dark sky and began to chase the clouds away. It started to sprinkle and I was ready to rush him inside before he freaked out over getting wet and before my hair got frizzy. Just then, a ladybug landed on our blanket and Bailey apparently made a new discovery. We found 5 or 6 of them and whether they were walking across the blanket, climbing a blade of grass, crawling around on my hand, or flying away, he watched in amazement. He put his nose very close to sniff each one but never tried to eat them. We forgot about the rain as we stopped to smell the roses, er, ladybugs!

It makes me smile to know that while he may be nearing the end of his time here with me, he is still making new discoveries all the time. And isn't that true for all of us? Sometimes they are even pleasant discoveries, like delightful little ladybugs or unexpected treats in the yard.

Oh Abba, when Bailey doesn't want to be here anymore, when life gets too hard for him, when he gets tired, please take him gently from me. Take him while he sleeps, curled up next to his mommy, with no pain or fear or awareness of what is happening. Please don't leave the timing up to me. I am afraid I will put it off too long, attempting to delay the pain of losing him, and I know that a stressful trip to the vet for a shot could never be a peaceful end to his sweet life. And I want his ending to be peaceful. He deserves that much.

And please help me to remember that I choose to praise You in this storm.